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July 7, 2023
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There’s an old expression: “Don’t air your dirty laundry in public.” It doesn't make sense to many young Americans, partly because thanks to social media, they have no concept of personal privacy anymore, or of self-censoring before blurting out the first angry, ill-considered comment that comes to mind. But it also doesn’t make sense to them because most of them never hung their laundry on a clothesline in their backyard.

When and where I grew up, a clothesline in the yard was as much a given as a roof on the house or gravy on the potatoes. But frankly, the part about airing “dirty” laundry never made sense because no one would place dirty laundry on the line — the whole point was to place the freshly-washed and clean laundry on the clothesline so it would dry and be sanitized by the sun.

There were few secrets in a neighborhood where people put their underwear on a clothesline for the world to see, and whose houses had open windows with screens that kept out flies and mosquitoes, but also let the conversations inside be heard outside. Since we could get only three channels on the old black-and-white TV on a good day off the rooftop antenna, when TV was boring, one could just sit near a window and catch up on what the neighbors were saying.

And if they were on the phone, we could still keep up because in the days before the government monitored all our social media posts and taped our every call, most of us had “party lines” for phone service. That meant that several families in the neighborhood shared a line. Each family had a distinct ring so we knew whether to pick up officially or just pick up and listen in without saying anything. Party lines were much cheaper than private lines, so naturally, we had one.

In the summer, when it was too hot to sit indoors on an August night in Arkansas until well after sundown, most folks would take to the front porch. The porch usually had some chairs, a ceiling fan of some kind, and ideally a porch swing hung from the rafters or ceiling of the porch. If you were lucky, the porch was screened, but if not, there would be several flyswatters and everyone took turns swatting at flies and mosquitoes or wasps or yellow jackets. If insect repellent products like OFF! had been invented, we certainly couldn’t afford to buy them, and a flyswatter would last for several summers and usually was given for free at the hardware store when you bought some stuff. I don't think we ever had a flyswatter at my house that didn't remind us that we could buy lumber or tools at Duffy Hardware. And alI of our yardsticks (three-foot type) and twelve-inch rulers let us know that Lagrone Williams Hardware had paint and pots and pans.

As we sat on the front porch, it was a time to talk and hear stories about the “good ol’ days” from my relatives that didn’t seem all that good to me given the way they described the hardships of the Depression and World War II. We'd break out guitars and play music and hear the same old family stories that we'd all heard a thousand times before. In the sweltering hot nights of the summer, everyone who wasn't playing a musical instrument had to shell purple hull and black-eyed peas that had been bought that day from the back of a farmer's truck that would pass through the neighborhood selling peas by the bushel. Shelling peas made one's fingers turn purple so I hated shelling peas, and thus one of my many reasons for learning to play the guitar.

Sometimes the neighbors or relatives came to sit on the porch and sometimes when things were quiet on our porch, we just listened to what the neighbors were saying on theirs. Many nights, it was for sure better than TV.

The culture I grew up in created a sense of community, but also a sense of accountability. The openness of our lives with our laundry visible to God and all His creation and conversations being heard without the whiz bang electronic surveillance devices we would come to despise meant that we lived with our families, but within a neighborhood and community. And out of a combination of courtesy, old-fashioned manners and the need to survive by having neighbors we could count on, we didn't talk “ugly” about neighbors too much. There was a good chance they could hear us. That meant they’d never help us shell our peas again.

Also something to consider before hitting “send” on an angry, threatening tweet.

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Comments 21-29 of 29

  • Mary Ann Sniff

    07/07/2023 04:49 PM

    Your vivid descriptions of summertime in the South exactly mirror my experiences of growing up during the ‘50s in Searcy, AR. But you forgot to mention the lightning bugs. ??

  • Tim Bufford

    07/07/2023 04:15 PM

    Mike: you forgot about the summer activities on the porch: shelling peas and snapping beans. On and churning ice cream with a hand cranked churn.

  • Sharon Underwood

    07/07/2023 04:09 PM

    Thank you for that beautiful stroll down memory lane. Brought me smiles & almost a few tears. Compared to our culture today, I think we can truly call those “the good old days”.
    In my small northern Michigan town we played ball or some other crazy game in the street till after dark or till our mothers stood on the porch & called our names to come home. We knew our limits & our boundaries. And God help us if we stepped over them. We had to answer to our parents...or own guilty conscience.
    To see kids now mesmerized by their phones, restricted by overly cautious parents, or worse, with no restrictions at all, it is no wonder they grow up with such confusion as to who or what they are, even their gender!
    I so appreciate your wise & insightful commentaries and love your humor that reveals how ridiculous some of our society has become.
    God bless you, Mike!

  • Janet Fritts

    07/07/2023 03:57 PM

    I grew up in Corning, Arkansas, about the same time as you. Everything you said was so familiar. In fact, for 6 years, I wrote a weekly column for the Clay County Courier which I called “The Rearview Mirror” and told many stories almost identical to yours. In northeast Arkansas, mosquitoes were just a fact of our lives in summer. We had a screened porch with a swing where we spent countless summer evenings. We got two Memphis stations and the one in Jonesboro with our antenna. My mother used to say you could judge a woman by the clothes on the clothesline. This was your best column yet, and that’s say a lot!

  • Ladena Vanhook

    07/07/2023 02:43 PM

    Good read...memories for sure in a more sensible time...no electricity as a young girl growing up and no AC or fans. My Dad had old iron bed he would sleep on in back yard...rolled mattress up to keep bird poop off...I am 80 so your article was great!

  • Edward F Gehringer

    07/07/2023 02:43 PM

    Hard to believe you were born in 1955, Mike. You are five years younger than me and the stories you tell seem very "fifties" to me. By 1960 most people had at least window air conditioners, and life was becoming more auto oriented. In general, your stories remind me of stories I heard from my parents, who married during WW II. I should point out that I grew up in Detroit, and the South was a different country in those days, but technology still had more of a leveling effect than one would know from your narratives.

    Keep them coming; I always enjoy your anecdotes, even if I would place them earlier in time.
    -Ed

  • Shelley Hoelz

    07/07/2023 02:39 PM

    It was refreshing to read this article. It brought back a lot of memories I had visiting my grandparents in upper Michigan. While we didn't sit on the front porch, we often gathered in the backyard or inside the house, usually around the kitchen table. There was no air conditioning so the coolest place may have been outdoors. I remember swatting mosquitos and flies, the fly swatters and the yard sticks with ads on them. I still have some!
    I also remember as kids, we had to tag along with our parents and grandparents to visit our relatives and their friends. It was actually something we enjoyed. We were never told to behave ourselves at someone else's home, we just knew it was expected. As kids, we sat quietly and listened to the adult conversations. At my uncle's home, the shot gun sat in the corner by the back door and we never even thought to touch it. He occasionally would entertain us kids with his magic tricks.
    At my great-grandmothers we'd sit on the bench, while my great-grandma sat in her rocking chair, and the adults talked. I understood nothing since they only spoke in Finnish. My great-grandmother never learned English.
    We looked forward to some of these visits because it was also bath time where we bathed in the sauna. The sauna wasn't a luxury, it was a necessity due to the limited water supply, especially in the summers. I remember my grandfather checking the water level in the well during the summer. He caught the rain runoff off the roof to have enough water to water the garden.
    My favorite times to visit was around 4th of July, when strawberries were in season. August was another favorite when we'd pick wild blueberries. My grandmother was a great cook and would make the best blueberry pie and bars.
    It was a simpler time and you did know your neighbors. You actually held conversations in person instead of texting via electronics. Businesses were often closed at 5pm, so families could be together in the evenings and weekends. Many businesses weren't open on Sundays and on Saturdays they closed at noon. Somehow we survived!
    When my grandmother went grocery shopping, she went inside the store while my grandfather stayed outside talking with the men. They talked current events and politics, and my grandfather knew many in the town. He served on the school board and was county treasurer for a time.
    Thank you for reminding me of those times. In the current times we now live in, it's a great reminder that materialistic things don't bring those memories. It is the people and our relationships that we take with us throughout life.

  • Marge Black

    07/07/2023 02:23 PM

    Would I be able to copy and paste with out getting in trouble???
    Thank you
    I watch your show on TBN .
    Thanks for all you do

  • Kristie Tyler

    07/07/2023 01:49 PM

    Love this article about airing dirty laundry. I remember those good ole days, brings back fond memories. Thanks for sharing.