Today is April Fools’ Day, but it’s not as much fun as it used to be. When I first started doing this, it was always a kick to round up the funniest fake news stories for April 1^st. But now, we get fake news 365 days a year. There are a lot fewer April Fool’s Day stories, and the few that appear aren’t as funny, because everyone is afraid to tell a joke for fear that somebody will scream that he/she/ze is offended by it. About the only outlet left that dares to write fake news that’s genuinely funny is the Babylon Bee, and even they have a hard time thinking up ridiculous fake stories that don’t quickly come true.

https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/satire-reality-nearly-100-babylon-bee-joke-stories-come-true

So hats off to the brave perpetrators of this April Fool’s Day gag, which is not only hilarious and multi-layered, it’s also guaranteed to offend all the right people.

https://100percentfedup.com/april-fools-billboard-appears-in-texas-roasting-southwest-airlines-woke-policies/

American Banana Republic Update

This is related to April Fools’ Day, but it’s no laughing matter. In what’s being called the first attempt to inject Biden’s “disinformation” exception to the First Amendment into law, Internet meme creator Douglass Mackey (aka Ricky Vaughn) is facing up to 10 years in prison for creating joke election memes.

https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/robert-spencer/2023/03/31/trump-supporter-found-guilty-faces-ten-years-in-prison-for-2016-anti-hillary-meme-n1683566

Mackey was found guilty of “conspiracy against rights” for creating and sharing memes in 2016 that told readers they could vote for Hillary Clinton by texting “HILLARY” to a cell phone number. Mackey’s attorneys say it was obviously a joke and everyone knows you can’t vote by texting a name somewhere. In fact, a pro-Hillary memester did the exact same thing, only aimed at Trump voters, and not only was not charged, but her memes are still online. But apparently, Democrats were outraged because Mackey’s memes threatened to disenfranchise their most loyal voting bloc: incredibly stupid people.

Even so, Mackey’s attorney said there was no evidence that anyone actually believed the memes. But federal prosecutors claimed the memes were intended to "deprive individuals of their constitutional right to vote," and a Brooklyn jury bought that hogwash, which is not a good sign for Donald Trump.

US Attorney Breon Peace declared, “Today’s verdict proves that the defendant’s fraudulent actions crossed a line into criminality and flatly rejects his cynical attempt to use the constitutional right of free speech as a shield for his scheme to subvert the ballot box and suppress the vote.” Yes, imagine him cynically claiming he has First Amendment rights. He should’ve known that couldn’t shield him from federal prosecutors these days.

Mackey’s attorney said he’s optimistic this ridiculous and dangerous verdict will be vacated on appeal. Let’s all hope so, or we might as well toss the Bill of Rights into a wood chipper and send a SWAT team after the writers for the Babylon Bee.

Stormy Daniels cashing in; more details on Trump’s arraignment

Did you know that Stormy Daniels has turned the Trump investigation and indictment into a marketing opportunity?

She has a website that’s selling merch:  T-shirts, posters, even sex toys.  No, that’s not an April Fool’s joke.  As reported in the NEW YORK POST, she says her merchandise is “flying off the shelves.”  When the announcement came that Trump had been indicted, she toasted her success as online orders poured in faster than they could be filled.

The no-frills, underwhelming T-shirts say “#TeamStormy.  Look for all the members of THE VIEW to turn up wear them.  (Kidding, but it wouldn’t surprise me.)  She also sells signed posters of herself posing in sexy lingerie.

The porn star tweeted:  “Thank you to everyone for your support and love!  I have so many messages coming in to respond...also don’t want to spill my champagne.  #TeamStormy merch/autograph orders are pouring in, too!  Thank you for that but allow a few extra days for shipment.”

Daniels was scheduled to do an interview with Piers Morgan Friday night, but she’s postponed it due to “security issues.”  No details have been given.

Incidentally, a caption under one of the pictures of her in the POST reads, “Trump was indicted for his role in the payment of hush money to Daniels during the 2016 campaign.”  We love the NEW YORK POST and hate to point this out, but since the indictment is still under steal, we really don’t know exactly what he’s charged with.  If it does relate to his role in paying Daniels, it’s important to note that offering money in a non-disclosure agreement is not illegal and was apparently done without Trump’s involvement.  The bookkeeping error that Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg may have charged him with is well beyond the statute of limitations.  The campaign violation he may have charged Trump with to make this a felony case and nullify the statute of limitations involves money that was not taken from campaign funds, and the Federal Election Commission declined to charge Trump in 2021.

Another small beef with the photo caption writer:  It’s “alleged sexual encounter,” not “affair.”

The point is, it took a lot of scheme-y lawyering for Bragg to come up with an indictment that he could even use.  But he’d promised when he ran for DA that he’d get Trump, and this is apparently the only way he could do it.

While Stormy was sipping champagne, her attorney Clifford Brewster was weirdly saying the indictment against Trump is “no cause for joy.”  Given his client’s celebrating and profiteering, it seems ridiculous.  He also tweeted this: “The hard work and conscientiousness of the grand jurors must be respected.  Now let truth and justice prevail.  No one is above the law.  #teamstormy.”

https://nypost.com/2023/03/30/stormy-daniels-says-teamstormy-merch-flying-off-shelves-following-trump-indictment/

Notice that many people who don’t like Trump and love seeing this injustice being done to him keep repeating the talking point, “No one is above the law.”   They like it because it presumes guilt.  And it’s fine for Trump’s enemies to presume his guilt, because Nancy Pelosi has reassured us on Twitter that Trump has the right to prove his innocence.  The clear implication:  he’s guilty until proven innocent.

I guess that’s how it works in Pelosi’s America.

https://www.foxnews.com/politics/nancy-pelosi-roasted-over-trump-indictment-tweet-saying-right-prove-innocence-trial

We brought you the Pelosi story yesterday, but I mention it again because Nancy got something else wrong that we haven’t seen pointed out anywhere.  She went on to say that “the system...grants him that right.”  Actually, our rights are not granted to us by “the system.”  They are inborn as part of Natural Law, given to us from God.  And if we don’t continue to treat them as such, they will be gone.

Moving on...The judge expected to preside over Trump’s arraignment in Manhattan Supreme Court at 2:15 on Tuesday is Justice Juan Merchan.  Perhaps you remember him as the judge who presided over the case in which Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg was convicted of tax fraud.  Weisselberg is now serving prison time.

Trump could not resist taking to Truth Social and tweeting about this judge.  Seriously, I’m thinking that Trump’s outstanding attorney in this case, Joe Tacopina, needs to take his phone away.  It’s not going to help him with this judge to accuse the judge of “railroading” Weisselberg, describe him as “handpicked by Bragg & The Prosecutors,” and even misspell his name.

Trump might know something we don’t about how that judge got assigned to his case --- it seems to us that Merchan should recuse himself after the Weissenberg case--- but a spokesperson for the New York State Courts said that the DA’s office “absolutely” does not handpick judges to sit on specific cases.

 The NEW YORK POST reports that “as part of his guilty plea in the tax fraud case, Weisselberg testified against the Trump Organization last year --- but reportedly did not cooperate with District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s grand jury probe.”

https://nypost.com/2023/03/31/trump-lashes-out-at-judge-who-may-preside-over-hush-money-case/

Notice that the pictures in this story show protesters outside Trump Tower holding very professional-looking signs.  Somebody is passing out some expensive, glossy signs and banners with pre-printed bold block lettering saying “JUSTICE MATTERS” and (yes) “NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW.”   The huge “ARREST TRUMP” sign in front of Trump Tower tells you there is some big-time organization behind this protest.

 The NEW YORK POST has updates on the Trump indictment at the link.  At the time of this writing, a good one to check is “Events suspended at Mar-A-Lago as Trump hunkers down with legal team.”

https://nypost.com/2023/03/30/donald-trump-news-live-updates-following-grand-jury-indictment

And in the piece “Trump to travel to New York Monday, surrender Tuesday,” we learn the details of his arraignment.  He plans to turn right around and return to Mar-A-Lago that afternoon.

We wanted to know what this is going to mean for the Secret Service.  Friday night, former Secret Service agent Chuck Marino said to guest host Will Cain on “Jesse Watters Primetime” that “extremely thorough protective methodologies” would be used with the Secret Service’s local partners at the NYPD.  They’ve been paying close attention to the intelligence regarding potential protests and disruptive activities and, of course, for “any specific and credible threats.”  They’re also working on site security around the courthouse.  Then there’s the protection detail, which remains with the former President 24/7, which he called “the tip of the spear, to keep the President very safe.”

During all steps of the arraignment process --- mug shot, fingerprinting, whatever is involved --- Secret Service will be with him.  The one thing they won’t be a party to, Marino said, is any talks between the DA’s office and Trump’s legal team.

We’ve been concerned ever since Dan Bongino mentioned that former Presidents don’t have nearly the level of security that current Presidents do.  (He’s a former Secret Service agent himself and knows all the protocol.)  But Marino’s words at least provide some assurance.  And sources told the NEW YORK POST that Trump will, after all, be given the full detail:  highway motorcade, helicopters, bomb squad, emergency service teams, hazmat crew and ambulance.  According to these sources, even local police hadn’t been informed of this; surely by now they have been.

Marino did note the divisiveness of bringing charges against the former President.  That’s what makes this all the crazier, like some kind of daredevil stunt.  It’s understandable that as long as Trump is going to be indicted, he’d WANT the mug shot, but those who care about his safety are still going to be worried.  There’s always Zoom.

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